Category: Family & Relationships

What Does It Mean To Become A Responsible Son Or Daughter?

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I am what people say as someone who has been raised as an independent child. At the age of 3, my mom already taught me how to dress up on my own and fix my bed in the morning. When I turned 5, I could babysit my little brother and prepare his milk formula. When I started going to elementary school, my dad would merely drop me off and pick me up at the bus stop.

In the eyes of practically every adult I know, I was a responsible offspring. I could take care of myself and even kids who are younger than me. I didn’t play outside, especially if my mother told me not to do so. I knew where to put all my toys back after playing with them. At the same time, however, I would hear them say, “I wish my child could carry such traits even when he becomes an adult.”

Indeed, now that I am a grown-up, I get that being a responsible offspring means more than knowing how to look after oneself or listening to parents. It also entails:

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Studying Hard For The Future

I believe it when someone says that life is not all about studying. You have to chill and try fun activities once in a while. Despite that, I have also realized the importance of studying hard to secure a fantastic future. Not every parent talks about it openly, but they feel a sense of pride whenever they see their child taking their education seriously. After all, it is one of the few gifts that cannot be taken away by anyone.

Not Giving Permanent Headache To Parents

A responsible son or daughter knows better than to do something that will give their mom and dad permanent headache as well. E.g., going to jail due to a crime, using drugs and refusing to quit, staying in a constant state of unemployment, etc.

Thinking About Loved Ones Before Making Huge Decisions

Only an irresponsible offspring will jump to rash decisions, such as leaving a job without looking for a new one or dropping out of school without any concrete plan for the future. They say it will make them happy, but they don’t think about how it will affect their parents. If you want to show your maturity, you should not do such things.

Understanding Bad Habits And Changing It

Responsible kids do not have to be told twice or a hundred times about their negative behaviors. They do not get upset either if their mom and dad tell them that what they are doing is wrong. Instead, they try to see the situation in the parents’ perspective. Upon realizing their fault, they are not afraid to apologize for their actions and correct them.

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Giving Back To Parents Even If They Insist That You Shouldn’t

It is typical for parents to stop their son or daughter from spending on them. They say, “Keep your money – we didn’t support you all these years so that you can feed us.” While you should respect their decision not to make you pay for their bills, you should insist on giving them a bit of luxury. For instance, you can take them to their dream destination or treat them to excellent meals every week.

Final Thoughts

Being responsible is one of the many ways to tell your mom and dad, “Thank you for raising me this way.” And even if you did not grow up close to your parents, it is never too late to alter your behavior and shower them with love and goodness.

 

Ways To Deal With A Parasitic Sibling

I have two younger sisters, and I love them to death. From the moment I got my first paycheck, I have made it my duty to give them everything they need. You can say that it is my way of giving back to my parents, who have supported me all through college.

During my first job, my middle sister, Anne, was still doing her internship in the hospitality sector. When you are in that industry, you always have to look good, so I would buy her clothes, shoes, makeup, etc. Even though I knew that my mom and dad gave her monetary allowance every week, I would transfer a couple of hundred dollars in her bank account. That way, she would have more than enough money to buy her needs.

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Before Anne graduated, we had a heart-to-heart talk. She told me how much she idolizes me for being a responsible big sister and daughter. She said that her goal was to follow my footsteps and do what I did for her to our youngest sister, who was still in high school at the time. Of course, the idea made me happy and looked forward to the day she could genuinely do that.

The problem is, in three years since she has entered the workforce, she has changed jobs thrice as well. Her complaint about the first workplace was that the pay was low. We were like, “Okay, that’s understandable. Look for another job.” I supported her financially while looking for a second employer. After finding one, though, she left it after another year, saying that it was too exhausting for her. We tolerated her again. Once more, I gave her money to apply for another job because she didn’t get to save her salary.

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It only hit me that my family and I are enabling my parasitic middle sister when she’s talking about leaving her third job to become a flight attendant. There won’t be any issue with that if it’s an upgrade from her previous one. However, the offered salary was only a third of what she gets from her current position. Worse, she has no money to sustain her needs while training as a flight attendant because she blew all her salary for clothes, shoes, and whatnot. It’s aggravating!

In this case, let me tell you how I dealt with her.

Brutal Honesty Is Key

The hard truth is that my parents have been complaining about my sister’s behavior already. With every job change, after all, they have to help her move all her cabinets, too. I told Anne that she’s being a pain in the you-know-what instead of assisting the family.

I also mentioned that she is becoming a financial burden, and that is not okay. Our obligation to support her financially should be over from the moment she graduated from college. Even if she knows we have money to spare, it doesn’t give her the right to let us worry about that.

I explained to my parents how wrong it is to enable a full-grown adult even further. It pained me to tell my sister these words, but I had to for everyone’s sake: “If you quit your current job, you cannot expect us to help you out again to get your next one.”

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How Did It Turn Out?

My parasitic sister was not happy at first, of course. She’s used to getting what she wants, and all of a sudden, we’re putting our feet down. Despite that, it woke her up from her dream that she could act like someone fresh out of college every time she wants a new job. Now, before making any decision, she thinks a hundred times before doing it. There was a bit of yelling and crying in the beginning, but it turned out to be a win-win situation for all.

You are most welcome to follow my lead if your sibling starts acting like a parasite as well.

 

How To Avoid Becoming The Black Sheep In The Family

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Coming from a family that is full of successful individuals in their respective fields has its ups and downs. As you build your career, these people can serve as your inspiration as well, for one. In case you require a tutor for a specific course, you can ask a relative to do it for you. It is also significant that if you ever need a doctor, lawyer, or financial adviser, you don’t have to call someone else. If it is a close cousin or a sibling or a parent, you probably even have them on speed dial.

The downside of having high achievers as family members, however, is that failing is practically not an option. You can make mistakes along the way, sure, but you need to come back better and stronger from that. Otherwise, you will tarnish your family’s fantastic reputation in society, and everyone will brand you as the “black sheep.”

Now, if you think that you are close to being named as such in your family, here’s what you can do to avoid it.

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Know Your Real Passion

The first thing that you should do is to figure out where your heart lies. Is it photography? Do you like teaching children? Do you want to be a pediatric surgeon?

There is no wrong answer at this point; you are free to be passionate about anything. What’s not ideal is wasting your time on trials and errors, even though you know deep down that that is not something you want to do.

Stick To Your Passion

It seems typical for family members to offer suggestions about what you should do when you grow up. Your parents might say, “You should get a Business degree so that you can take over our company in the future.” Your favorite aunt might say, “Oh, that’s nonsense. You should become a dermatologist like me!”

I kid you not if you enter the business or medical field only because your loved ones told you so, you won’t be happy. You will be no different from the other millennials who wait tables to make ends meet, even if they dream of walking on the runway or becoming a pilot. You need to stick to your passion as that will allow you to excel in your craft and feel proud about it.

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Don’t Obligate Your Family To Clean Up Your Mess

As mentioned above, making mistakes is a part of life. Perhaps the elders in your family have had their fair share of errors in the past, too. They will not disown you if you slip up a few times or want to change your career. The only time it can happen is if you hide your mistakes to them and then obligate them to iron out your problems.

Final Thoughts

Ideally, your loved ones have worked so hard to give you privileges that others cannot have. You should not waste this opportunity by being indecisive and becoming the black sheep in the family.

The Cycle Of Violence In Domestic Abuse

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There is a cycle of violence in domestic abuse situations:

Cycle Of Violence

Abuse – Your partner will hurt you with every little action that you make to dominate you.

Guilt – The abusive partner will feel guilty not with what they’ve done but at the thought of facing the consequences of his actions.

Excuses – He (or even she) will try to excuse what he (or she) did to avoid responsibility.

“Normal” Behavior – The person, will try to act normal or sweet again to prevent you from leaving with the hope of change.

Fantasy and Planning – The abusive partner will think of how to hurt you again by manipulating you and going back to what you supposedly did wrong.

Set-up – Your partner will set you up so that he can justify the abuse.

Abusers will spout excuses and sweet words in between this to make you stay and believe that they still love you. Do not be fooled by this. These type of people are self-centered and controlling. They only serve themselves and will reel you in as much as they can because they want to damage you for their pleasure. Resist the belief that they love you because THEY DON’T.

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Accepting Death As A Fact Of Life

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Preparing for death means different things to all of us. Some people use their last days as a time to rebuild those bridges they burned in the past by making peace with those they have hurt or angered. Others choose to live out their final time by doing things they always wanted to do or seeing things they always wanted to see. Of course, if you are bedridden and unable to travel, this may be an obstacle to overcome if possible. Many people want their family with them every step of the way and others do not want their family to see them that way. Those who are religious either turn toward their religion for strength or away from it because they blame God for their death.

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The Benefits of Having a Horse as a Comfort Pet

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By now, you’ve heard of comfort dogs. They are allowed in stores, planes, and anywhere else with their owner on the premise that they are there for emotional support. Other comfort pets include cats, birds, and other rather “portable” animals. However, the list doesn’t have to end there.

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Questions to Ask Yourself Before Getting Married

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The idea of marrying and spending a lifetime with the person you love the most is so pure and welcome. You’ll have a stable source of energy whenever you feel exhausted; he’ll stay beside you even if you hit rock bottom, and vice versa. Despite that, it won’t be wise to say ‘I do’ immediately based on that. Ask yourself these questions before getting married.
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Emotional Ramifications of Infertility

When you are dealt with the devastating news that you are infertile, how can you honestly go on? It’s devastating news and not something you ever want to hear, whether you’re young or old but unfortunately, it happens on a day-to-day basis. When it does happen, it’s shattering and for some, they cannot process the news. Worst still, there are many emotional ramifications to come from infertility.

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You Feel Hurt and Angry

For the most part, people start off very emotional, they cry and feel very upset but that can soon turn into anger and that is the number one emotion for most people. When someone finds out they’re infertile, they can become very angry and it’s one emotional ramification of infertility. It’s human nature to become angry and you don’t want to think there is something wrong with you as to why you cannot have a child. It’s frightening and something that destroys a person so much so they don’t want to go on living. That is why it’s necessary to find an outlet for the grief. Continue reading

Don’t Let Infertility Ruin Your Marriage

What happens when you or your partner is unable to conceive a child? Infertility is one of the most terrifying obstacles a couple can face today and yet it’s becoming even more common. Unfortunately, there are some who cannot have a child of their own and news like that can ruin a marriage. Is it possible to overcome these issues? Read on to find out more information about overcoming infertility and preventing a broken marriage today.

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How Can You Overcome Infertility?

First and foremost, you might want to talk to someone who has gone through it and experienced the same pains and emotions you’ve felt. It could be helpful to find a support group that specializes in this area. It doesn’t matter if you’re infertile or your partner is, it’s good to talk about it and by talking about it to those who’ve gone through it, you can feel less alone. This can be extremely effective and also a much simpler way to prevent a marriage from being ruined. Continue reading

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