If you utter ‘compassionate’ in a heartbeat, that entails that you are one lucky human being. You most likely grew up in a love nest instead of a house and with parents who support your ideas all the way.
In case you have a protective family, then there’s still nothing wrong with that. Once you get bullied, for instance, you don’t even need to ask them to back you up. Your problem is their problem, so they will remain by your side and perhaps fight your own battles if you let them.
Arguments and misunderstandings typically occur within the family, regardless of how picture-perfect your relationship seems to the outside world. There’s a likelihood that you’ll develop different opinions about the same topic, and that will make you lock horns from time to time. But that’s not precisely worrying as long as you remember that nothing should come in between you and your loved ones, right?
More than one professional in various fields has one day of simply not coming to work, disappeared while on a business trip or screamed out his resignation letter to his colleagues. This is common enough to have its own name and is something everyone in a job involving high, persistent levels of stress is at risk of.
Long hours, high expectations and the occasional crisis will sap the emotional reserves of anyone sooner or later, especially when breaks from the strain are few and far between. The good news is that it is quite possible to bounce back from the early stages of burnout, which relies on a person realizing what warning signs should be looked out for.
When two people come together and plan to spend the rest of their lives happily ever after, the question that is being posed is “How does a good marriage work?” However, as time pass by, and they grow individually, the question becomes the opposite, which is “How can this marriage positively affect his or her work?”
This is an entirely normal question and becomes very important in the long run. Being married to someone is like having a lifelong partner. You need to give your full support, care, understanding, love, and patience, so your spouse can achieve his or her ultimate potential.
One’s career is hugely aspirational and digs deep into a person’s self-actualization goals, the highest in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Here are simple ways to support your spouse’s career and make sure he or she aces at work:
1. Be Flexible And Understand Both Your Work Schedules
Being in different industries and fields, you and your spouse may not always have the same office hours. In a problematic scenario, your partner may be on a night shift, while you work the day job. Those are some crazy hours. Extend your patience and make sure you don’t get fired up on your spouse for dozing off when you feel like having a movie marathon, or when your spouse decides to go on a dinner date at a much later hour.
2. Listen To The Rants And The Stories
It happens. Work will, one way or another, haunt a person even at home. If your partner has something to say about his or her day, listen. If there is an annoying story about how their boss powertrips them or gives them a ton load of work, listen. If there is anything good and uplifting about his or her new project, listen. The key is simply to listen and be there for your spouse. It’s a little thing, but it means a lot.
3. Acknowledge The Milestones
Is your spouse celebrating five years at work? Or perhaps your partner has been promoted to General Manager after two years? These are milestones that you shouldn’t miss, and you should definitely celebrate! These milestones won’t just affect a positive work attitude and performance; it will also help your spouse appreciate you more, as you take note of his or her progress. What do you know? Maybe you’ll get your quality time together after celebrating the promotion!
4. Contribute Ideas
Just because you’re not working together doesn’t mean you can’t strategize together. Try to be vigilant and see if your partner has trouble focusing and coming up with specific ideas for his or her work. You can share your thoughts and contribute some ideas that can help.
5. Be The Reward
Tap on the shoulder is as good as saying “GOOD JOB!” But a warm hug, and a consoling kiss after a long, and tiring day, is something else. Supporting your spouse’s career doesn’t mean you give him or her space and make no room for both of you. Time spent together will still be the greatest reward and a much-awaited break from work.
Keeping these simple ways in mind can help you, and your spouse avoids unnecessary fights and dimming passion and intimacy. Remember that being in a relationship is also reciprocity. If you support your spouse with his or her career, for sure, you will be supported as well.
Talking to teenagers nowadays is difficult and more laborious more than ever. Parents find it challenging to build a good communication effectively with them. One factor where relationship constraints occur between parents and their children is the problem of talking and trying to understand both parties. To understand teenagers’ feelings and thoughts, parents can employ different techniques. Here are examples of ways on how to encourage teens to express themselves and to practice active listening.
Family is the primary institution of society. Everyone belongs to a family, which means that no one is alone. However, over the years, we have found out that many families end up getting broken because of many factors. One of the common causes for the divorce of parents and consequent destruction of the family is the lack of time for the family. According to a therapist, many people in modern times are more focused on building their career or business. These individuals have already forgotten how to raise their own family.
Because of this, we have decided to gather a list of tips and suggestions that you should consider if you want to have a happy family at all times. Our primary focus is to provide ideas on how one can make time for a family. Make sure that you read the entirety of this article to understand the different items mentioned. Here are some of the essential lessons that you must know:
Remember Your Kids
You must take a moment to appreciate the presence of a family in your life. You have to focus on the fact that you already have kids who need your time and attention.
“If you are working all the time, you are missing out on the family events that you can’t replace,” explained Magdalena Battles, PhD. “Kids grow up fast and they don’t get to repeat their childhood.”
Make sure to stop thinking that just because they have lots of gifts, they can already be okay. Unfortunately, many parents cover their absence by giving gifts to their kids. This move is completely erroneous because it teaches the young ones to have a distant relationship with their parents. For sure, you do not want this to happen to your children. To make you feel more motivated to spend quality time with them, then always put them in your mind.
Go On Family Dates
Make your kids happy by bringing them together with some friends at school or in your subdivision. All you have to do is to send an invitation to the parents of the said children wherein you will encourage them to spend some time with you. The beautiful thing about this idea is that you can give your children a chance to get to know with each other before it becomes too late. However, you need to see to it that those who will join your family dates are nice and competent people. Otherwise, you may end up suffering more disadvantages instead of the advantages. Spending quality time with other families will teach your child the importance of building strong relationships within the community.
If you have a long period away from work, you should use it to travel together. There is nothing more fun and exciting than organizing an enjoyable tour activity for everyone in the family. As such, you need to prepare their passports ahead of time. Take note that you may not know when the exact time your application will be approved. However, if you are only traveling locally, then you can always go to new cities through domestic flights or road trips. In moving together, you can renew your relationship with each other. At the same time, it can also make the family bond last longer because of the new experiences. When it comes to this matter, it is best if you will make the arrangements ahead of time.
“Allow lots of extra time cushions – a good practice is to think about how much time each part of the process SHOULD take, and at least double it,” Emily Edlynn, PhD, recommended.
Cook For The Family
When was the last time you prepared a sumptuous meal for everyone in the family? If you can no longer remember the day, then it is time to do it again as soon as possible.
“The family that eats together thrives together,” said Vanessa Lapointe, PhD. “Mealtime has historically been a time of family togetherness. Plus, if you’re getting multiple generations together, then there is tapestry of diversity in terms of ages and interests and that is just so good for kids.”
Invite your family members to come over on a Sunday and serve them your best dish. It is also ideal if you can also tell them to bring some of the food items that they want to share with everyone. In organizing this kind of gathering, the best thing that you must never forget is to get the attendance of all your family members ahead of time. You need to see to it that everyone will attend the little gathering so that you can bond with each other again. You can also prepare some exciting games and activities for the kids.
Remember that family must always come first. No amount of money can ever buy you lost time with family members. Make sure that you make each and everyone feel valued. Go out of the way to make them smile at all times.
I used to be very fat, as in I was truly overweight – overly obese even. From 53 kilograms when I was eighteen years old, I became 102 kilos at thirty-six. I used to reason out that in between those eighteen years of gaining weight, it was due to my five children. Each child, I had gained weight and I never really bothered about my looks after I got married. My psychologist said that it was because of my depression.
People must have heard it from a couple of family therapy or counseling they attended that “there is no such thing as a perfect family.” Same goes to an ideal parent-child relationship. Yes, most of the times, parents often think that everything they do is always for the benefit of their child. That’s because they love and value him. However, some actions are not necessarily healthy for both of them. Because as the child grows up and reaches his teenage years, it usually becomes the time that takes turns for the worst. There are frequent arguments, increased misunderstanding, and a lot of relationship inconsistencies. It is a situation that takes everything out in order. With this specific state, there should have to be a solution. Here are some practical ways that help strengthens parent-child relationships.
A psychologist once stated that the older a person gets, the more fragile he becomes physically. That’s because when a child starts his teenage years, he becomes more reluctant to show his parents affection such as hugging. Perhaps they consider it as not “appropriate” anymore. So when the child becomes more independent, showing affection gets lowered to a minimum. It then begins to create a gap within the relationship and soon can escalate into getting severe social and emotional problems. Therefore, contact with other people is increasingly essential for the development of overall health. That’s due to the impact of hugging that serves as a stress reliever. And when a child continually shows affection daily, it becomes a constant reminder that he is not unaccompanied in both physical and emotional needs.
Connect With The Family Before Any Transitions
Connecting to the family before any transitions or large decision-making is vital in keeping the relationship healthy. Making transitions can be challenging, especially in teenage years. It’s because it is the time that the child is trying to figure out who he is and what kind of life he wants to live. There will be many days that the child will become uncertain about which direction to choose as well. Therefore, parents should become important guidance. They should never hesitate to approach their kid so he’ll never feel left alone. Parents should provide helpful insights that the child can use for future decision-making reference.
Rhett McKenzie, MAMFC, LPC, NCC, wrote, “When a child feels safe and secure in relationship with a parent, as a result of connecting through affection given, children are shown to have higher self-esteem, improved academic performance, better parent-child communication, and fewer psychological and behavioral problems.”
Make Time To Create A Memorable Bonding
When the child tends to get older, he gets to experience a lot of responsibilities along the way. There will be an instance that he’ll decide to build and enhance the skills he wants for a perfect career path. Meaning, there’s a big chance the kid will isolate himself from family and peers as he ages.
“Without a sense of secure attachment, it is very difficult for people to have satisfying, close relationships. They may feel that they are unlovable and sense a void in their lives,” says Jean Landphair, LMFT.
It is a great time to consider creating a memorable family bonding in this situation. Because when both are already juggling work and social life, the parent-child relationship appears to be limited. With all the exhaustion both may feel, they might end up losing interest in filling time together. So spending at least 10 to 15 minutes of meaningful conversation can boost the parent-child relationship. Or maybe both can consider to set aside an hour and make dinner together during the weekend. It’s simple as it seems, but it creates overall wellness for both individuals.
Encourage Emotions Instead Of Shutting Them Out
People’s emotions are consistently messy. Therefore, being mindful to another person’s feelings is essential. There’s no valid reason to dismiss it, particularly during any arguments. Yes, regulating emotions can be tough because an individual can get strongly affected by the situation. But it’s vital to understand that a healthy parent-child relationship comes from the buildup of proper communication despite the unwanted emotional response. There’s a significant psychological reason why neglecting emotions can be dangerous to one’s health. So even if both parent and child have trouble discussing the source of pain, they have to. As long as they focus on listening to understand instead with the intent to react, both sides can determine where each of them is coming from.
A parent-child relationship doesn’t happen automatically. It takes a lot of time, adjustments, effort, and tons of understanding. According to Kimberly Hackett, LMHC, “Cultivating relational health in your parent/adolescent relationship, even when your teen is actively blocking you, takes reinvention, persistence, and a willingness to look inward.” As long as both sides are willing to cooperate, they can build a significant connection.
You probably read a lot of articles and watch tons of videos on the internet about the proper way of balancing life and work. But are they exactly the fundamentals of living? Well, you don’t have to oppose the idea of work-life balance if you want. However, you might have to consider health and wellness for that matter.
Life As You Know It
You probably wonder about the quality of life you are having right now. You can’t say that you perfectly managed your time, family, friends, and job all at their expense because that’s way too impossible to do. Honestly, the whole idea of balancing things all together is doing more harm than good.
“People focus a lot on time management, but I think in terms of personal energy management. If you have enough energy, you make better use of your time,” Sandra Lewis, PsyD, says.
The truth is, there’s no virtue of adjusting things in life without having to sacrifice a more significant part of it. And real talk, there’s no perfect management for everything. You may feel okay with the concept of life balance in general. That when it fits nicely to your ways, you become eager to repeat the routine over and over again.
But it’s not always easy at it seems. Yes, work and life can both go along with each other. But there’s only one problem with that though. And that’s the assumption that work is separated from your life and doesn’t affect your overall health. The idea doesn’t make sense because these three things don’t exclusively function separately.
Your work and health is the fundamental component of your life. Therefore, you can’t balance only a part of it without touching the other portion. It becomes a delusion that you think you can potentially segregate the things you have to do with the stuff you need and want to do. Sticking to this kind of mentality will only make you suffer throughout your life.
John F. Christensen, PhD, adds, “In fact, health is on a continuum, with well-being at one end and burnout at the other. And most of us, during a professional career, slide back and forth on that continuum depending on what’s going on in our lives.”
Let’s state a scenario that will make you understand more. Perhaps you want to go out with friends and attend a party. Maybe drink a little. You know you “want it.” But you also have to be in the office early in the morning. You “need” to be there. You also know that even though you’ll be happy bonding with friends, you might end up drinking a lot. You know that’s going to be bad for your health. But let’s assume you did all three things together. You hung out with friends, drank a lot of alcohol, and went to the office early in the morning. Yes, it is an achievement. But how does it make you feel after? Is it that fulfilling? Of course, it’s not.
Every Decisions Matter
With that particular instance, the only thing you can do is choose between the options. Either you will attend the party and don’t go to work tomorrow, attend the gathering but not drink and party hard so you can wake up early, or you can stay at home and prepare yourself for your job the next day.
The whole point of this is, you don’t often need to have the great stuff to be able to balance things in life. You don’t always get what you want too because there are sacrifices to make. And when you care a lot about things, you might have to sacrifices a lot as well. That’s pretty much depressing, isn’t that right? No one can handle proper decision-making. That’s especially when the things they want battles with the things they need and have to do. With that, it gets challenging to process physical, emotional and mental strength that helps in grinding through the rest of what life has to offer.
When you insist on managing and balancing all aspects of life without considering consequences, you might end up spending a considerable portion being stressed out and depressed. Yes, you might potentially pull it off and handle everything in your preference, but it’s more like you’ll become resentful and unhappy with your decisions. At this point, you will eventually lose everything, and that’s a bad thing to happen. So instead of trying to get a hold of what you think you “can” always handle, try considering values that matter most.
At least set your priorities, responsibilities, and goals so that you can work on it one at a time. You don’t have to rush it nor handle it all together to achieve it.
Online quizzes and tests for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder are now available, but these are not definitive. It can only guide you and give you a sense of what ADHD is.
Stephen Hinshaw, PhD, said an official ADHD assessment “has to be at least several hours. You have to get observations from the school or at least ratings from the teacher, normed ratings from parents and a really good developmental history of the child.”
It is a great relief when you find out that you do not have an ADHD, and here are 23 signs which you should take in mind. (Share this with your family.)